Closed for refurbishment (5): Write a story

Think back to when your relationship with this person began, and document it from beginning to end. This may be very painful, but it will give you a broader perspective. When you get to the final chapter, finish off on a positive note and write “The End”. If you’re writing in a notebook, close it forcefully, take a deep breath, and put it on a bookshelf. If you wrote on loose leaf papers, fold them, put them in an envelope, and seal it. You may choose to keep the story, or you may choose to shred it or burn it. The very act of documenting your relationship and closing the book, however, will help you find closure emotionally.

Writing the eulogy for my father enabled me to discover and make peace with my relationship with my father and be reminded of the person he was. It was like discovering someone I used to know. I realised how difficult he could be with people. I really do hope that I don’t end up being like that, I want people to think good things about me, but sometimes I think that my father lives on in me more than I realise.

With the eulogy that I wrote I had a picture of my dad that he had recently given to me, I didn’t really understand why he had given me the picture, perhaps he knew all along that he was ill and wanted me to have a happy memory.


At the end of the funeral service, with out realising I was doing so, I placed the picture and eulogy in the envelope and closed it. Perhaps I was finding some sense of closure without realising it at the time.

And so I write another story.

I arrived into your life and you welcomed me, we were close, as an only child I felt for the first time the feeling and meaning of having a family to bond with and for those times, for the fun, for the good times I will always remain happy and grateful.

Saying a final goodbye is an odd thing, saying goodbye to someone who has died, although painful, does have the finality about it, saying goodbye to someone or people who are still alive, knowing we may never meet again feels sad and yet with a purpose of moving on I continue – although ever hopeful

I cannot continue to have hope for a relationships over, it does me no good, and for this reason I say goodbye, wishing you well, I send you a blessing of love and inner peace –  I cannot wait, just for the chance that things will resolve, this serves no purpose and is just a reminder that things have changed, things change, life moves on, we move on, I move on.

I loved you, you were my family, families change, life changes, we grow – and move on. Goodbye



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